To my husband: sorry you have to put up with me. But also, thank you.
Happy 4 years baby <3
Marriage Advice
I don't know about you, but
I never expected marriage to be hard.
Lots of people said it was, but
honestly, they should have made their advice meaner.
They should have said,
marriage is raw like a scaled fish,
ready for filleting,
and this person, the one you're marrying,
this person you love more than anyone in the world,
will, very soon, very often be the person
you struggle the most not to hate.
No one says that on your wedding day.
Probably because
no one has yet had the guts to put it on a Hallmark card.
The crockpot your aunt in Minnesota sent
definitely did not include that kind of warning.
So we say, marriage is hard,
and make sure you eat a piece of your cake.
Marriage is hard,
you'll soon find yourself repeating. A veteran.
You've fought about something very silly,
like where he chooses to clip his toenails.
You get it now, why it's hard.
It's hard, living with an imperfect person.
At some point though, you'll realize
you're no war hero.
Someone else sees you. You exist, to him,
in full, unadulterated reality. And
if marriage is a mirror,
you are far uglier than you ever thought.
You are the inconsiderate roommate
and the control freak,
the excuse-maker, the tally-keeper.
You are the hard in marriage.
It's a miracle you've made it this far.
You almost feel bad for him, that he's stuck with you.
But no one promised him it would be easy either,
so here you are.
And now I love you is less an experience, more an assignment.
To hold him when,
basically, he's promised by his mere existence
to hurt you. And further,
to save him from yourself--
to hate, to kill the ugly in you,
completely losing track of it
in the other.
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